


A Change of Heart

by duraraross



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Confession, M/M, also probably internalized homophobia, and denser than a goddamn rock, light but vague homophobia, rated t for Bad Words and vague reference to Boners, sylvain is bobo the fool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 19:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20458100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duraraross/pseuds/duraraross
Summary: Sylvain makes an offhand homophobic joke, not realizing Felix is gay. Sylvain tries to comfort Felix and apologize. They kiss a couple times.





	A Change of Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Special shout out to momo (@poetartistjh on twitter) for beta reading this :3 and to the sylvix discord chat for encouraging me to write this

It had started with a joke. Just a fucking joke. Felix wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation. He had just wanted to eat lunch alone, but, as always, Sylvain came by and dragged his friends along to eat with Felix. Felix was used to it. They were talking about something, maybe girls? He didn’t really remember. 

What he _did_ remember was Sylvain laughing before saying, “careful, you keep that up and they might start to think you’re into guys!” to one of his friends. Not to Felix, but it didn’t matter.

He gripped his fork a little too tightly, to the point that it started to bend within his fist, “What, is there something  _ wrong _ with liking men, Sylvain?” he spat as he stood up, throwing his fork down on the table and storming off, leaving Sylvain and his fellow fuckboys wondering what the fuck just happened. 

Sylvain sat there for a good few seconds as the pieces fall into place in his head. Felix had never really shown any interest in girls, even now in his late teens; he was much more keen on sparring. It seemed that a girl had never once occupied Felix’s thoughts. Sylvain had just thought that Felix was more interested in other things. 

Well, he wasn’t  _ wrong _ , he just didn’t think those other things were  _ boys _ . 

He sat there for almost a full minute, replaying their entire childhood in his head, trying to think of a time Felix even  _ looked _ at a girl. 

He couldn’t find one. The only times Felix was ever distracted by someone… were when he was watching other boys spar with each other. Sylvain had always assumed Felix was distracted because he was too interested in observing their techniques or something. But… now that he thought about it, Felix  _ did _ always seem to have a faint blush on his cheeks whenever he watched those boys. 

And it clicked.

“ _ Oh. _ ”

Sylvain had fucked up.

\---

Felix stormed back to his room holding back tears, finally breaking down the second he slammed the door shut. Like always, his immediate reaction was anger, which quickly dissipated and was replaced by whatever emotion he  _ actually _ felt. This time, being… being… 

He wasn’t quite sure.

He just knew that he was upset. He was hurt. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to fucking deck Sylvain. Normally when he was this upset he’d go crying to his best friend for comfort -- he’d done that ever since they were kids, hell, maybe even babies, and he’d kept it up into their teenage years, although not nearly as often. But he couldn’t do that. Not right now. His best friend was the thing that was upsetting him so damn much.

Felix always knew Sylvain wouldn’t accept him for who he was, but hearing it out loud still crushed him. He knew he never had a shot with Sylvain and it wasn’t worth getting his hopes up, but he did anyway. It was nice to imagine holding hands with Sylvain, or Sylvain using all those shitty pickup lines he used on girls, except using them on  _ Felix _ . Not that Felix would ever fall for them, but it’d be nice. His imagination was all he had, and he should’ve just let it go a long time ago, but it just made him feel so happy to imagine Sylvain leaning up against a wall, telling Felix how pretty his eyes were, how breathtaking he was, before tilting Felix’s chin up to kiss him. Or… some nights Felix would imagine something a bit different; Sylvain’s bare chest heaving as he straddled Felix, legs on either side of him. A tent forming in his pants and a hungry look in his eyes-- a look aimed right at Felix. 

But that was all pointless. It was all just fantasies Felix made up for himself because he just liked to suffer, apparently. It would have been so much easier to just drop it, to just push his feelings down and never think about it again. Sylvain was his friend. Nothing more. Never anything more.

Felix hadn’t realized how long he’d been sitting in his room until there was a knock on his door and he looked up from his tear stained pillow to see that it was dark outside. Tears had stopped coming quite a while ago, but his face still felt hot. He didn’t respond to whoever was at the door, instead opting to just stare at the door to see what they would do.

The knob turned and the door opened at a snail’s pace, “...Felix?” came a familiar voice from the other side. All the feelings Felix had felt over the last few hours came rushing back when he saw the soft smile of his beloved redhead peek out from behind the door. And it infuriated him. Without hesitation he chucked his pillow at Sylvain’s face, who backed up before it could make contact. Felix rolled over on his bed, turning his back to his unwelcome visitor. After a few seconds, Sylvain must have decided it was safe to proceed, closing the door behind him. Whatever. Felix didn’t care. Sylvain could do whatever he wanted. 

“Uh, hey buddy…” Sylvain hesitated before sitting on the edge of the bed. 

  
  


Felix had planned on ignoring Sylvain, but that seemed to go out the window when he sat up in his bed and snapped, “Don’t patronize me!”

Sylvain put his hands up in surrender, “Woah, woah, I’m not-- I’m not trying to patronize you or anything… I just… I just came to apologize, okay?”

Felix scowled but didn’t say anything, so Sylvain continued, “I… I’m sorry, Felix. I… I didn’t know. I have no idea how I could’ve missed it, but… I really didn’t mean what I said. I was just… I was just being dumb. You know that, you know I’m just stupid, I don't think before I speak-- well, right  _ now _ I’m trying real hard to think before I speak…” He paused to give Felix a chance to berate him, but it never came, so he kept going, “There’s nothing wrong with… with… liking men, okay? I know you’re mad at me-- rightfully so-- but, uh, just know that I… I don’t care-- wait, no it’s not that I don’t  _ care _ , I mean-- I mean it doesn’t bother me. You’ve been my best friend my whole life and… and you being into guys doesn’t change that, Felix.”

There was a long pause between the two of them, but Felix was at least looking at Sylvain, which was an improvement. 

“Okay,” was all Felix said.

Well, it  _ would have been _ , if he knew how to bite his goddamn tongue, but instead he kept going, “... All these years I couldn’t tell if you were incredibly cruel or just stupid,” he huffed.

“Cruel? What do you mean?” Sylvain gave a tilt of his head, not unlike a confused dog. Which, he might as well have been.

“You-- you were always-- always touching me unexpectedly and flirting with girls right in front of me!” Felix was on the verge of tears again. Great. Just wanted he needed, to be  _ more _ vulnerable than he already was.

“I… huh? What does that have to do with… what? Why would that… Why would that upset you? How is that related to you being--”

The penny dropped for the second time that day.

“Oh.  _ Oh _ .”

“Just stupid, by the looks of it,” Felix said flatly, giving Sylvain a blank look. He really  _ just _ figured it out, huh? The dumbass needed to be told outright that Felix had been crushing on him for damn near a decade and a half. 

And then Sylvain acted without thinking, leaning forward and pressing his lips against Felix’s. 

They both sat in stunned silence for what seemed like an eternity, not moving until Sylvain eventually pulled back. Felix blinked in shock, his heart pounding in his ears before the wheels in his head finally started turning to process what just happened.

“Stop it!” he shouted as he pushed his crush away with both hands.

This time Sylvain blinked in shock, “... I… what? Stop… stop what? I thought… I thought you…”

“Stop  _ fucking with me! _ You  _ know _ I have feelings for you and you-- you’re just-- you’re teasing me with what we both know I can’t have! I’d rather have kept living the way I was, confined only to my imagination than be given a taste of what I so desperately want only to have it ripped away as a cruel joke!”

“Felix, I… I’m not trying to tease you…”

“Oh, so it was just a pity kiss, then? I’m just so pathetic you felt sorry for me?”

“No! Felix, I’m being serious!”

“Stop! Sylvain, please just stop!” There are tears welling up in Felix’s eyes now, “ _ please! _ I- I’m begging you, please stop, I-- I can’t take it!” he borderline sobbed. He couldn’t believe Sylvain was being this brutal to him. Everything was a joke to Sylvain! He’d never had feelings toward anyone in his  _ life _ , so it’s no wonder he’s treating this whole thing like a joke! If only he’d learn to take things serious, maybe he wouldn’t--

Felix was snapped out of his thoughts by Sylvain trying to get his attention, “Felix! I’m telling you! I’m not teasing you! I kissed you because  _ I _ wanted to!”

Felix looked at Sylvain, doubtful. He kept a wary eye on him before giving an apprehensive response, “... I don’t believe you. You’ve never shown any kind of interest in men, why would you start now?”

“Well… I don’t know. I mean… I definitely know I love you, but whether or not it’s like a brother or… something else I never really thought about. I’m… not entirely sure myself. I just… I just know you mean more to me than anything in the world. And… I think that’s how people are supposed to feel about their lovers, yeah? I guess it never really crossed my mind that I could like a  _ guy _ in that way… until now. But after figuring out that you’re… well, you know… it made me wonder about myself. I never really questioned that I liked girls, and don’t get me wrong, I definitely like girls, but… that doesn’t mean I can’t like guys  _ too _ , you know? And I thought, hey, I care about you and you’re pretty easy on the eyes yourself, so…” Sylvain trailed off, waiting to see if Felix had anything to say. 

Didn’t look like it. But Sylvain had probably talked enough right now.

Felix stared blankly at his bed, his mind going lightspeed yet standing still at the same time. Was this a dream? Surely, Sylvain couldn’t be serious. Sylvain Jose Gautier, a known ladies man, skirt chaser, and serial cheater, interested in  _ Felix _ , a  _ guy _ ? Un-fucking-believable. Not possible. 

And yet… his logic  _ was _ sound. Felix knew without a doubt that Sylvain loved him, but he had always assumed it was a brotherly love, so that wasn’t a lie… the rest… well, it  _ would _ make sense that Sylvain had never questioned his sexuality. It was plausible that he had just now thought about it… But then, why would he suddenly find Felix attractive? That seemed--

As if on cue, Felix was pulled out of his thoughts by Sylvain, this time with a hand on his cheek. “Hey, c’mon, Felix… Look at me,” Felix couldn’t help but oblige, “There you go. You’re cute. You know that, right?”

“I don’t… no, I…”

“I mean, you’ve always been cute, though.”

“I’m not--”

“Like remember when we were little? You were so  _ adorable _ ! I can’t believe I never… well, you crying every time I had to go home for the day probably should have been an indicator of how much you liked me, huh?”

“Shut  _ up _ \-- I was-- I was  _ four! _ ”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Sylvain teased, giving a gentle smile, one hardly ever seen by anyone, let alone by Felix, “I always felt so bad when I had to leave, you were always so upset. You knew it was coming every time but you still cried like it was the end of the world. I mean, I never wanted to leave either but I guess I had a little better control of my emotions since I’m a little older. Four is still arguably a baby, seven is a bit more controlled--”

“What’s your  _ point _ ?” Felix snapped. He always hated hearing about how clingy he was as a child-- it was just so  _ embarrassing _ .

“Oh, right!” Sylvain laughed, “Sorry, I got sidetracked. Anyway, you were cute then, like a little kitten or something. Buuuuut… well, you’re cute now too, but in a different way. Like a girl.”

“Like a  _ girl _ ?”

“No, that-- that’s not what I meant-- I didn’t mean you looked like a girl; I meant you’re cute in the kind of way that a girl is cute, not like how a baby is cute.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Well… baby or kitten cute is like, awww, I just wanna pick you up and hug you. It makes me feel like I gotta be a protective parent or something. Girl-cute is like… it doesn’t make me feel like a parent-- it makes me wanna kiss you kind of cute, you know? Like an attractive kind of cute.”

“I… still don’t really get what you’re trying to say…”

“I guess I’m trying to say you’re cute and I wanna kiss you.” There was that lopsided grin again. That absolutely heart-melting, shit-eating grin that made Felix weak. Oh, hell, even if this was a dream or a trick, Felix didn’t care because that was all he’d ever wanted to hear. He somehow managed to find his voice and answer with, “Well, I… I’m not going to stop you,” before quickly looking away. 

It was a few seconds before Sylvain made the executive decision to lean forward and kiss Felix, pushing him back gently so he was laying on his back on the bed. Just like in Felix’s fantasies, Sylvain was straddling him, legs on either side of his torso, leaning down to kiss him. Unlike Felix’s fantasies, it wasn’t desperate or hungry, it was… tender. Loving. Sylvain was being as soft as he would be with a girl, lightly running his hand down Felix’s side, leaving the other on Felix’s cheek to tilt his head up. It was a good thing they were laying down, because Felix was certain he’d be unable to stand with how nervous he was. He felt something push against his stomach and he looked down. 

Maybe it was a little more like his fantasies than he thought.


End file.
